Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
smell my finger.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
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Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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