Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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