Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
