I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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