you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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