my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
