1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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