I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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