my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
