Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
