arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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