i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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