The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You don't make any sense
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