No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
