hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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