I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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