we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
