Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
