new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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