He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize