Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
God, I missed his penis.
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