Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
