you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
