If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
