i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
