It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
