Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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