You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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