No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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