I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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