Buhtt sex?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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