I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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