i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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