Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Sext me about skeletons
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
