Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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