i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
