This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
please don't ironically join a cult
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