I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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