Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
