I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
did i just pee glitter
Randomize