Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
