I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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