youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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