I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
