The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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