This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
