You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
