I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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