I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
