I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
