you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
