The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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