a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
