Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You smell like stripper and shame
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
