Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
