He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
