someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize
