Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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