I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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