It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
