Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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