Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
