When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
