cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
