From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
